This is kind of a long story in its self and there are just somethings that I will explain and others I won't.
I have someone who keeps sending me Facebook requests to be their friend. I know you want to know who? Well, I haven't talked to this person in over 3 years. I'm not even sure I want to talk to this person now. This person, is my sister. I will say that she caused so much drama in my life then. I don't know if she knows I have a blog because I'm not sure if my mother has told her, so if she reads this...who knows? I will say it like this, she is my sister and I do care about her, but whether I want more than that, I don't know.
If you asked my mom she would want me to be her friend, sister and all the above and talk to her. Well, I am married and have 3 kids and that is not something that I need to have drama in my life for. Back then when the drama was all around her, I only had one child and that is when I just said I have had enough, I'm done! My child was more important than her drama and whether she was/is my sister that doesn't matter, your children are you priority. I don't have time for the drama and my kids don't need it. Back then she did some things, that I will never forget nor will they ever be forgotten. Not matter what. Some would say, "You need to forgive but not forget!" I don't know, can I forgive? Why should I forgive?
I almost last night sent her a message via facebook and said, "While I have yet to accept your facebook friend request, if I did..." and then my terms would apply. Basically meaning, just because I accept your request doesn't mean I want to talk, doesn't mean, I want to meet you tomorrow, doesn't mean anything. Again, I'm not even sure this is what I want.
I'm hesitant and then some people tell me, "If you are not 100% sure then don't, I just don't know!"
This post is not really to ask what would you do, it seriously was just me venting and getting this out of my chest. I don't talk with my mom about this stuff because she would only want us to be sisters and that would mean for me to start talking with her and all that. And I just can't go back like nothing ever happened, because it did. I talk with my husband about it, but like he says, its your sister and I won't make the decisions for you. He knows I will make the decision that is best for our family and myself. While I also know my family would never be immediately known that she was even apart of me. My 2 youngest do not even know her, they don't know who she is. My oldest...I know she remembers her...and hopefully she only remembers the good/happy things. She doesn't every say much about her, so and I don't bring her up either.
Anyway. I'm kind of lost in my head about this...so I'm gonna say good night. I'm not sure what I want. I just want what is best for my kids and that is...No drama! Everything else who knows.