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A Mommy, A Wife, A Full Time Employee who loves to spend time with her family, camping on the weekends, cloth diapering, learning to be more eco friendly, and trying more organic products.


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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Are You A Strict Parent?

Tonight the Hubby and I took the girls to get some ice cream at Bruesters.  All of the people that work there are somewhere around the age of 16 and 17 years old. Of course we pulled in and when we pulled in there was about 5 boys (around 16 or 17 years old) standing around in the parking lot with their shirts off, and dare I say...trying to be cool...but it did seem like what they were trying to do.

We walk up to order our ice cream, and there was a pretty girl about 17 working behind the counter who looked to be super naive.  (I am 32 years old and my husband is 39 just to give you some behind the scene info, lol). This girl was flirting with the boys who had their shirts off, who were very loud and obnoxious. 

DH stood there and watched and said..."She is so naive and I would worry that she would be one of the girls that we may later see on Nancy Grace!"  As I watched, I couldn't agree more, she was flirty, but standoffish as in shy but at the same time all up in it.  I'm sorry I really don't know how else to explain that anymore than I really am so you all would have the whole picture.  

The little girl got off work while we were still sitting there eating our ice cream and walked over to the boys!  Stood there flirting and playing with the boys.  The husband said, "The girls will not be doing that!"  I agreed whole heartely.  10 minutes later she walked off rolling her eyes at the boys, but continued looking back and after getting in her car to leave stopped to talk again with them.

What is interesting to say, is times are so different than they used to be in all aspects.   Not that girls were ever safe to just hang around, because they weren't and maybe things aren't so different it is just that now the news announces more of the "bad" things that we never used to hear about kids, girls and what happens to them.

DH and I started to talk about how things were when we were growing up and of course he as a man, he so knows what those boys were doing and it bothered him knowing that we are raising girls.   I was telling him I was reading the local mommies forum and read that one of the mom's had a girl who was just turning 9 years old and wanted to rent a hotel for the night and let her daughter have a sleep over and she wanted to know if other mom's would let their girls do it.  Now, seriously mom's...I was shocked....I really was...most of the mom's were saying I would, I would, I would.  One mom spoke up and said, "I must be strict, because I wouldn't!"  I told DH, I agree with that one mom who said, I must be strict, because I wouldn't either.

This past October, my oldest turned 8 years old and she wanted to have a few friends over for a slumber party and the longer I thought about it, I thought I wouldn't let her go, so why would we have this thinking other parents of girls would let them come. 

So, lets go back...I didn't have my first sleepover until I was 13 with my best friend and always wondered when I was younger why I couldn't and why the next morning my mom was there at 9AM to pick me up and to go home.  I don't wonder anymore, because it laymen terms you just never know what could happen while you are not under the roof of your parents.  Do you know the parents and if you really know them, do you know who is going to stop by or who else lives there and what may happen.  And are those parents like you, where for us I would be watching all that is going on, but would they, and would the girls be sneaking out?  Do we know that a sick uncle or a male figure (at that a female figure) wouldn't walk into that house and take your child or even do something to your child that may hurt them, or even at that take their virginity away. 

I had my first boyfriend at the age of 13 years old as well and he was 3 years older than me. My parents were very strict and had to meet him.  But too, let me explain to you all, that I wanted them to meet him, and to feel comfortable.  He was a "good boy" as my parents called him and he was.  We didn't go out, obviously I was too young, but I could go out to dinner with his parents and him but only after my parents met his parents and had hung out with them, he could come over to the house under the roof of my parents house.  All of this I was ok with, but I was a girl who was smart about my surroundings and although I don't talk to my father and have not in many, many years, he taught me well and what to expect.  I also was a girl that I had a job when I first could and my parents were always there right when I got off, and when I could drive, I was home right after work.  If I wanted to do something or go somewhere with friends (which was very few far and between) I always called my mom and said "Mom, we are leaving XXXX and going to XXXX." I always wanted them to know where I was at all times in case something ever happened to me. They would always know where to look.

So, I do know that girls (nor boys) can't live a sheltered life, but at the same time I also feel that they need to be in the know and need to be observant of what is going on around them.  So many girls (and some boys) are just so naive.  While I am 32 years old, my husband still says to me when I am going out by myself with the girls somewhere, look around you and what is going on. Girls at a young age just don't do this.

This is why I don't let my oldest go off to slumber parties and probably won't until she is older and can really understand.  This is why I don't let my oldest run down the street or rider her bike around by herself out of my eye sight and this is why we don't have slumber parties.

So, to answer the above, "Are you a strict parent?" Its all in how you look at it, I don't think I am a strict parent to a degree, I just think that I am a careful parent.

Tell me what you think!

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